Mii
by Akai-Kurenai
Summary: Itachi thinks over his life and knows that there's something that he wants. What is it? Maybe his trusty Nintendo Wii can help him. Characters are a bit OOC, rated T for language, mindless killing, etc.!
1. Chapter 1

"Itachi, behind you!"

The Uchiha turned swiftly and slid a kunai into the man's throat. The ANBU ninja gasped and fell to the ground. Itachi looked at him with disgust before facing his partner.

"There was no need to warn me, Kisame. I saw him coming with my Sharingan." Itachi said curtly.

"Well, the Sharingan can't track anything. Besides, I had to warn you in case you didn't notice. I'm not one to let my partner die on my watch." Kisame replied.

Itachi's face remained unchanged, but inside, he was smiling. Despite his love for battle, Kisame was calm and polite.

"So, can I take down the next guy who tries to jump us? Should I hack his body up into pieces, chop his head off, or slice his chest open?"

However, his love for mutilation overrides his manners.

"That will come another day. Let's go back to headquarters and rest." Itachi responded.

Using their transport jutsu, they arrived at the Akatsuki lair and bid each other good night. After all, it was two in the morning.

* * *

"……..forget it. I can't sleep." Itachi shuffled around in his room. Even though he would normally be tired by now, something was keeping him up. But what was it? Itachi then noticed something at the foot of his bed.

Itachi squinted at the package. _Is it Christmas already? No, that can't be it, it's June. _"Wait, June?" Itachi checked his calendar. Tuesday, Tuesday….. It was currently four hours into the fourth day of June. Five days until his birthday. "Okay, maybe it's an early birthday present," he mused. He bent over, picked it up, and sat down on his bed. Opening it, he found something he hadn't expected.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" The box had three letters on one side of it, and a picture of what was inside at the other. _Wii_, it read. "You have got to be kidding me. I get enough blood and violence without having to resort to video games." Itachi snorted and placed the box on his bedside dresser. "I seriously need to sleep now."

* * *

Heh, heh, heh, this is my first story so please don't drown me in your wave of whatever you guys write these days! Itachi's brithday is accurate, I looked it up. Oh, and this takes place sometime in the first story arc. Next chappie to come if you guys R&R!

BLAH I AM ON A FRUIT PUNCH RUSH! GATORADE!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nooooo! I forgot to do the disclaimer for the last chapter and I'm too lazy to edit it and put a disclaimer there!

Shikamaru: Who cares?

Me: I do, Mister I'm-too-lazy-to-move-my-ass-from-the-roof!

Shikamaru: Wow, she's in a bad mood…how troublesome.

Me: Since you're too much of a lazy bum to do it, why don't you do the disclaimer, Hinata-san?

Hinata: Eeks! –runs into a closet-

Everyone: -sweatdrop-

Hinata from inside the closet: Akai doesn't… ny… charac… tings… from… Nar... or… endo… Wii.

Neji: The author does not own any of the characters, settings, etc. from Naruto. Nor does she own Naruto. She also doesn't own a Nintendo Wii. Seriously, she doesn't. She's on a wild goose chase for one. –Opens closet and pulls Hinata out-

* * *

Itachi woke up the next day with drooping eyelids and bags under his eyes. He couldn't sleep again. Ever since…well, he didn't exactly know, but something always kept him up and made him restless. Itachi had double-checked to see if he had any kind of syndrome that kept him up. He didn't. He wasn't nocturnal, either. Itachi rubbed his eyes. "What is it? If I don't find out sooner of later, I'm going to drive myself crazy!"

"What's driving you crazy?" Zetsu poked his head around the doorframe. Itachi waved him away and threw a bottle of nail polish at him to emphasize his point. Zetsu's Venus-flytrap like extension around his head gobbled it up.

"Ew! Was that _pink_?" Zetsu's black half exclaimed.

"I thought that you only wore purple nail polish," Zetsu's white half uttered. Itachi cursed under his breath.

"Um, Deidara-san played a prank on me. He gave me pink when I asked him to buy nail polish," Itachi quickly lied. Zetsu blinked, and then laughed.

"Deidara, you delinquent!" Zetsu laughed and sauntered to the kitchen. When Itachi was sure that he was gone, he let out a sigh.

"That was my favorite bottle of nail polish!"

* * *

After eating breakfast and narrowly avoiding Kakuzu's daily rampage against Hidan (today, Kakuzu was threatening to cut Hidan up and not sew him back together), Itachi mumbled out an excuse and sneaked back into his room. He spaced out for a moment, trying to sort out his thoughts when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

"That box again. Why is it bothering me?" Itachi picked up the Wii package. "Wait, why am I talking to myself? This should be happening inside my head!" Itachi stared at the box. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try it out…" Making sure that his door was locked, he opened the box and took out the Wii.

"Wow! I mean, this looks all right," Itachi's eyes widened at the sleek, shiny console. Holding it as though it was a fragile artifact, he set it down and expertly plugged in the cords. With trembling manicured hands, Itachi pressed the "ON" button. The Wii turned on and after all the fancy whirrs, dings, disclaimers, and warnings, the menu finally popped up. For some strange reason, his eyes did not swivel to the video games. Instead, his gaze traveled to the word "Mii."

"This is strange…maybe it's because I get enough violence in real life," Itachi concluded. "Still, why would I be interested in ridiculous, cartoon avatars?" Itachi pointed the Wii remote and opened the Mii menu. "Hm, why am I so good at using this? Have I owned a Wii before?" Itachi wondered. He snapped his attention back to the screen. First, the shape of the head needed to be decided.

He blinked. There were hundreds, maybe _thousands_ of choices he could make! As Itachi scrolled over the multitude of hair styles, the assortment of facial expressions, and the option of contorting his avatar, he realized something. _He was enjoying himself_. "Great. Now I'm a geek," Itachi muttered. Sighing, he again turned back to the screen only to realize that he had unconsciously made his Mii while he was talking to himself.

Itachi did a double take. His Mii looked like, well, himself! Was he that vain? Wait...it didn't look _exactly_ like him. For instance, this little guy had dark black eyes like his old self. The thing that set it apart the most was its face. The pixels below its nose was confusing Itachi. The little black lines were pointing towards the sky.

The Mii was smiling.

* * *

Sorry, that my chapters are short, I'm a little lazy and brain-dead right now. Chapter three will come in time. If I get in a good mood, a sugar rush, or my teachers suddenly decide to cancel all of my assignments, then I'll start taking care of all the details, like making up names for the chapters. Anyways, R&R! 


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:**

**Hello, it is me again! I seem to be doing not **_**too**_** bad for my first time. I'm a little disappointed, but still, it is my first time. –sweatdrop- Anyways, Sasuke will do the disclaimer!**

**Sasuke: Hn.**

**Akai: -sweatdrop- (again) Um, why don't you do it then, Sakura?**

**Inner Sakura: Why can't Sasuke do it? Is his ego that big? CHA!**

**Sakura: Akai does not own Naruto or the Nintendo Wii. However, she owns the plot. I wish I owned Sasuke…**

**Sasuke & Akai?!?!?!?!?!**

**Okay, ignoring that last outburst, let us begin Chapter Three!**

* * *

Why? Out of all of the possible things it could've done, his subconscious had chosen the Mii to look…benevolent! Itachi furrowed his brow in confusion, and tightened his grip on the remote. He _could_ erase it and start all over, but somehow, he had a feeling that he shouldn't. Itachi sighed.

"Well, it's only a Mii…" Itachi pressed the "Save Changes" button. "Might as well see where this will go," he added, as though he was trying to reassure himself. Itachi decided to not play a video game and entered the Mii community. Hesitantly, he took a couple of polls (he voted dogs over cats and red over green) before hearing voices outside the door. Hurriedly, he muted the TV.

Sasori was heatedly saying, "Deidara-san, fine art is something that is left long into the future. The form of art that people respect most is the kind that lasts throughout history to teach lessons and amaze learners with its beauty."

"Your beliefs are logical and they make sense, but in my opinion, art is something transient that departs quickly," Deidara's voice drifted through the door.

"Well, that's because you make exploding clay sculptures, which live an ephemeral life, while I create long lasting puppets out of humans. You couldn't possibly understand what I hold art to be." Sasori retorted.

"It's not my fault that………."

Itachi let out a sigh of relief. It was only Sasori and Deidara's infinite argue over their views on art. He let out a half-hearted laugh. "Why am I so nervous about being caught with a Wii? I know they won't dare to laugh at me: I'm one of the most prominent members in Akatsuki! Why am I acting so weird?" Itachi kneaded his temples. "I shouldn't be sitting around with a video game console. The leader will probably have a mission for me," he reasoned. Itachi unplugged everything, stashed it in the Wii box, and left to find Kisame.

* * *

"You always take so long, Kisame." Itachi remarked. Kisame finished wiping the blood off Samehada and cracked his knuckles.

"Well, the old man was asking for it when he told me that I belonged in a bowl of shark fin soup! I couldn't just let him go without pulling off his fingers, slashing up his quadriceps, and taking off his false teeth!" Kisame whined.

"All right, just do it a little quicker next time," Itachi tapped his foot impatiently. They were supposed to be done with this mission an hour ago. The leader would probably be pissed off by now.

"Just a minute…" Kisame finished disposing of the old man's remains and yawned. Using their transporting jutsu, they warped to their quarters and got a good cup of coffee.

* * *

"All right, Sasori, I'll make sure that I won't miss dinner. Okay…OKAY!" Slam. Itachi muttered under his breath as he locked his door and set up his Wii. He immediately opened the Mii channel, and was greeted by the customary upbeat tune.

"It always has to be so carefree."Itachi rolled his eyes as he took a look at his Mii, who did a two-handed wave. His eye twitched slightly.

"So idiotic…" Why did he create this Mii in the first place? _Because there's a purpose for it. For you._ Now he was arguing with himself. As if talking to himself wasn't bad enough. His eyes wandered over to the words "Mii Parade". Click.

Suddenly, he was connected with hundreds, maybe _thousands_ of Wii players everywhere! Gulp. "I hope none of these guys are ANBU. Or Sasuke. Wait…why would Sasuke own a Wii?" Itachi wondered out loud. He scrolled across the massive numbers of Miis, occasionally stopping to stare at some of the peculiar ones. For instance, one Mii was dressed like a hippie, while another resembled Michael Jackson.

"Okay, I'm definitely avoiding _that_ one. Freaking pedophile," Itachi shuddered. Unbeknownst to him, Orochimaru was the one lurking behind that pale, rearranged face.

**

* * *

**

**OMG I FINALLY GOT A WII! XD XD XD XD XD**

**No, I do not think Orochimaru is a pedophile. I just think that he's fun to make…fun of! The ending note is just a funny ending. Not really part of the plot.**

**Anyways…SCHOOL'S OUT! I have free time! Peep might come over! What is with all of these exclamations?! If you have any comments, suggestions, or if you see any mistakes, please notify me in your review or PM. So, R&R please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **

**Hello, again! 'Tis I, akai-kurenai, interrupting your lives to drive you insane! ...yes, I am on a sugar rush. I ate some candy. I am also overjoyed that I have received some alerts. Okay, two. Anyways, the disclaimer will be done by…-spins wheel- **

**Sasuke: -gasps and slightly pushes the wheel-**

**Akai: The vict – er, person…yeah, let's go with person! Anyways, it's Kiba!**

**Kiba: Akai does not own any of the characters, settings, etc. in Naruto. Also, she does not own the Nintendo Wii. She owns one, though. Oh, and you say "anyways" too much.**

**Akamaru: Arf! –scratches himself-**

**Gai: What's wrong, Sasuke? **

**Sasuke: I'll explain later. –shudders-**

**START CHAPTER 4!**

* * *

"Itachi…you're very lucky that Kisame reminded you to come to dinner," Sasori said in a menacing voice.

"S-sorry, Sasori, I…forgot," Itachi replied hastily. Under his breath, he muttered, "Yeah, I was so obsessed with playing around with my Mii that I lost track of time." He quickly whispered thanks to Kisame before they sat down to eat.

* * *

Kisame had a room right next to Itachi's, so it was very frustrating when Kisame was going to be in his room. That meant that Itachi couldn't turn up the volume or mash any of the Wii buttons too loudly, which were the things Itachi like to do when he was excited. Yes, he was very excited today.

Itachi decided to try the Mii Parade again, and use it to mingle with other Miis. Mainly, he wanted to try interacting with other people. Normally, Itachi had to stay away from public or wear a disguise. The Akatsuki leader was not afraid that Itachi would get apprehended. Any ANBU would be dead before he or she could yell out Itachi's name. What the organization feared was that the Kages would eventually find their location.

Itachi thought that was really paranoid. It probably was, but better safe than sorry, right?

"_Sure_ it is," Itachi muttered as he muted the T.V. and turned on the Wii. After going through the standard procedures (press the "A" button, go to the Mii channel, then the Mii Parade, mingle, etc.), he finally arrived at a large community of Miis.

"I wonder if I can send any of them a message…"(1) Itachi wondered. He found a little chat room and entered.

* * *

"I can't even make a tiny clay bird-un! That asshole is going to pay for being a freaking pig!" Deidara grumbled. He was currently walking to Zetsu's room to accuse him of eating his spare clay.

"Chime. Beep! Doink."

"Nani-un?"

* * *

"Um…uh, hi." Itachi nervously inputted. He had directed his Mii to a seemingly normal Mii and fervently hoped that he wouldn't be recognized.

"Hi, I'm **YukiUsagi**," the speech bubble read. At least this Mii didn't ignore him like that other one who had long blond hair and a stuck-up expression.

"Um, I'm, uh…" A name! What should he call himself? He couldn't call himself Itachi! The Mii already looked like him; that was suspicious enough! Just give the person the first name you can think of!

* * *

Deidara tiptoed across the hall and eventually stopped near Kisame's room. "Kisame, what are you doing in there-un?" A very convincing reply came through the door.

"ZZZZZ…………"

"Okay, so it's not Kisame-un," Deidara checked him off his mental list. His gaze then wandered to Itachi's room. He skeptically looked at the door and found out that it was locked. "No, that's not possible," Deidara laughed. He fell silent as he heard more of the sounds, which were coming from Itachi's room.

"Is it?"

* * *

"**Sagashite**? Searching? That's a unique name," the Mii replied. Itachi frowned.

"Well, 'Snow rabbit' is a really girly name," he shot back.

"…oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you. I thought it was _unique_, not weird."

Itachi stared weirdly at the screen for a while until another chime sounded.

"I must be going now. Thank you for your time, Sagashite-san." Ding! The Mii disappeared right afterwards.

"Okay…anyways, I guess I should talk to someone else." Itachi awkwardly approached a Mii that stood in a far-off corner.

"Hey, I'm Sagashite. What's your name?" The Mii looked like he didn't see his message, so he tried again. This time, the Mii replied.

"Hn. My name is **Kowareta**. Happy? Now -"

"-go away, freak?! Who the hell gave this freaking punk the right to say that?!" Itachi exploded.

Itachi froze and clamped his hand over his mouth.

"Knock, knock."

Too late.

**

* * *

**

**(1) I don't think that option exists, but I really like the idea of it and I think it'll come in handy later. This is basically like combining instant messaging and the Wii together. Okay? If anyone asks why I didn't do an AIM fic instead of a Mii fic, then I will tell them this: Miis r fun.**

**Gai: Why did you cheat the wheel, Sasuke?**

**Sasuke: I used my Sharingan to track the wheel's movements and predict who was going to do the disclaimer.**

**Naruto: Then why didn't Kakashi-sensei see it?**

**Sakura: Because his Sharingan isn't activated now, baka!**

**(Somewhere in the distance, Kakashi sneezes on his Icha Icha Paradise book)**

**Sasuke: The next person was going to be – **

**Lee: Hello, my youthful friends! Gai-sensei!**

**Gai: Lee!**

**(They grasp each other tightly and a very sparkly sunset appears out of nowhere)**

**Everyone: -sweatdrop-**

**Sasuke: No need to tell you now.**

**Hooray for the half-baked cliffhanger!**

**I would like to thank my friend Peep for adding me to her favorite author list after some…persuasion. Just kidding! There was no persuasion. Don't hit me, Peep! DX**

**Seriously, though, kudos to ****Thintellumaien**** for the author alert and ****Ribbon-chan03**** for the author favorite!! Thank you very much! XD Really, you guys are the first. The other person hasn't gotten back to me yet, so I can't post the name… . **

**If you have any comments, suggestions, requests, or if you see any mistakes, please notify me in your review or a PM. So, R&R please!**


End file.
